Contact John Gibbs on 0425 340 190 if you are interested in volunteering on the day and/or partaking in a committee.
The Case of the smiling stiffs
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
After autopsy, the coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.
The Coroner tells the Inspector: 'First body: An Italian, 60, died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile.'
'Second body: 'Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky, died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile.'
The Inspector asked, 'What of the third body?'
'Ah,' says the coroner, 'This is the most unusual one. Colleen, the Irish, Blond, 30, struck by lightning.'
'Why is she smiling then?' inquires the Inspector.
Says the coroner.... 'Thought she was having her picture taken'
CIRCULATION OF ADVERTISEMENT AS REQUESTED BY ROTARY CLUB of LIVERPOOL GREENWAY
Miracle Babies Foundation needs a helper/volunteer one day a week to help empty donations collected in humidicribs & donation tins located around Sydney.
The helper(s) Day/Time can be flexible. It takes 4 – 6 hours on a Tuesday or Wednesday usually between (9.30am – 2.30pm) emptying coins at locations/retailers like McDonalds/Krispy Kreme etc, depending on time perhaps counting at their Chipping Norton office.
We currently have one volunteer and just need to pair this person with a second person. It can be on a roster if we have several people interested.
Temporary Position (could become permanent if interested) Particularly needed NOW (and the next few weeks) as other helpers are working on other Fundraising Projects …. So even if you can spare a couple of weeks…. It would help.
Call Amanda at Miracle Babies on 9755 7470 or 0402 092 294
Good old Paddy
Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf.
Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win lottery'
'What's dat, says his mate.
'Send me lawn away to be cut'.
Sudden Passion to Study
Little Sameer, who was a Hindu, was failing in maths. His parents tried everything. Tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centres, but nothing helped.
As a last resort, someone told them to try a Catholic School. "Those nuns are tough" they said.
Sameer was soon enrolled at St Mary's. After school on the very first day Sameer ran through the door and straight to his room, without even kissing his mother hello. He started studying furiously, books and papers spread all over his room. Right after dinner, he ran upstairs without mentioning TV and hit the books harder than before. His parents were amazed. This behaviour continued for weeks, until report card day arrived.
Sameer quietly laid the envelope on the table and went to his room.
With great trepidation, his mother opened the report. Sameer has gotten an ‘A.’in maths! She ran up to his room, threw her arms around him and asked, "Sameer, how did this happen? Was it the nuns?"
"No" said Sameer. "On the first day of school when I saw that man nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around".