Liverpool Western Bulletin for 1 Feb 2011 – Members draw will be $100.00
The next bulletin will be for 15 Feb 2011
February is Beadle Mania month with Adrian presenting on the 1st and Peter presenting on the 15th
TONIGHT’S MEETING – Tues 1 Feb 2011 – Youth Exchange report from Adrian Beadle and as well we may have a visit from RYLA nominees, Casey Hocking and Naomi Horsley to report fresh after their experience at this years camp.
CLUB REVIEW On 14 December we had 26 persons attend our last meeting to be held at the Catholic Club for the 2010 Year including visitors, Kay Morris, Linda Lambourne, Ingrid Little, Jan Crowfoot, Belinda Crowfoot and Henni Niemi as our Guest Speaker.
Henni gave a good presentation of her time spent so far in Australia and we hope to post some exerts from her presentation in a future edition of our Bulletin
Linda Lambourne wrote a wonderful thankyou letter to the club which was posted to our website before Christmas and is included later in News of this bulletin.
The Westfield Liverpool Fundraiser took place on Sunday 19 December 2010. Ted Mlynarz reported: Donations were not to expectations, however, all and any contributions do assist.
A special thank you to all who were able to attend! The occasion and experience was a little different and every body had an opportunity to catch up.
On 21 December we had a joint Christmas Party night with our Satellite Club and VVP members which appears to have thoroughly enjoyed by all concerned and Secretary Ted has made a report which is then also included in the News section of our Bulletin
The Breakfast meetings were well attended on 4 & 11 of January with Liana’s Café making for a welcome break to our usual meetings.
The break continued with our Tri Liverpool Social Golf and Dinner on Mon 17 January, where Joe and Jim Leahy played Golf. Greenway Club took out the golfing honours and also managed the Bradman’s Trophy. We only had 7 in attendance, but were the last 7 standing.
A report on our club Picnic day at the Australia day races may follow in our next bulletin.
Plenty has happened since our last normal meeting;
As reported in News a Rotary Club of Liverpool West scholarship has been awarded and is jointly funded by Rotary Club of Liverpool West Inc., Australian Rotary Health and the Australian Government.
Kristian and Rachel Anderson were given $250, 000.00 by Oprah. As quoted from the Daily telegraph; As Kristian is literally in the fight of his life, Rachel is working tirelessly to do what a good wife and mum does. ``She is the main supporter of this family right now, we want them to spent every ounce of energy being together and focussed on getting well.''
In Event Details Coming up:
7 Feb: Networking Night at Maurizio’s, 23 Feb: National Movie Night, 26 Feb: The Combined Rotary Clubs of Liverpool will host a Joint Fundraiser for the Victims of Flood Devastation in Australia that has impacted greatly on our nation, 7- 8 Mar: Great Debate,12 Mar: Combined Liverpool Clubs to BBQ for 300 at PETS
Other Notices;
Barry O’Farrell will speak at Chamber of Commerce Meeting to be held at Hunts, 12 noon, 15 Feb, RSVP: 1300 242 623
Wetherill Park celebrate 18 years on Mon 21 Feb, Marconi, 7 for 7.15 pm $40 pp and Liverpool Club hold their golf day as their major fundraiser on Fri 29 Apr.
JOKES
Men in Heaven
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One for the men that were the true head’s of their household and a second line for the men dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon the women were gone, and there were two lines of men.
The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long. The line consisting of men who truly were heads of their household contained only one man.
God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."
God then turned to the one man and said, "How did you manage to be the only man in this line?"
The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here".
Little bit of Christmas jocularity!
Mrs. Yetta Rosenberg gets off the plane in Miami and, being tired from the flight, goes to the first hotel she sees in order to get a room. She walks up to the desk and tells the clerk, "I'm Mrs. Yetta Rosenberg, and I desire a room for the night."
The clerk looks disdainfully at her and coldly says, "I'm sorry, madam, but our hotel is completely booked."
Just then, a man with his suitcase in hand, drops his key and a check at the desk, and heads for the door.
"Oy, vot luck, says Mrs. Rosenberg.”I can take 'his' room."
"I'm sorry, madam," says the clerk, "but I thought you understood my meaning. To be blunt, we only cater to Christians."
But, "I'm a Cat'lic", exclaims Mrs. Rosenberg.
In obvious disbelief, the clerk asks her, "If you're a Catholic, then answer this question: Who is the Son of God?"
"Dot's easy," says Mrs. Rosenberg, "Jesus Christ."
The clerk, still not convinced, then asks, "Who were Jesus' mother and father?"
"Mary and Joseph," Mrs Rosenberg replied testily.
Then the clerk asks, "And where was Jesus born?"
"In a manger in a barn," answers Mrs. Rosenberg, becoming agitated.
"And why was Jesus born in a manger, in a barn?" asks the clerk.
"Cause a shmuck like you vouldn't rent a room to Jews!"
Proof that men have better friends;
Friendship among women:-
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among men:-
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that
he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over. Two said that he was still there.
Polite Way to Call Someone a Bastard;
A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome.
They were even after the first few holes. The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?" The first guy said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, the second guy was busy counting his $80.00. He confessed that he was the pro at a neighbouring course and liked to pick on suckers. The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro was flustered and apologetic, offering to return the money. The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them.”
Copper Wire
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 150 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Brit's, in the weeks that followed, an Americanarchaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a storypublished in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, findingtraces of 200-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestorsalready had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 yearsearlier than the British".
One week later, the Melbourne Herald, reported the following:"After digging as deep as 30 feet in his backyard in One Tree Hill , Brian a self-taught archaeologist and avid gardener reported that he found absolutely nothing.
Brian has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Australia had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be a Aussie!
Why Computers Sometimes Crash! By: Dr. Seuss.
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, and the bus is interrupted at a very last resort, and the access of the memory makes your floppy disk abort, then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash, and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash, and your data is corrupted cause the index doesn't hash, then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!
If the label on the cable on the table at your house, says the network is connected to the button on your mouse, but your packets want to tunnel to another protocol, that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall......
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss, so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse; then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, 'cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang.
When the copy on your floppy's getting sloppy in the disk, and the macro code instructions cause unwanted risk, then you'll have to flash the BIOS and you'll want to RAM your ROM, just quickly turn the darn thing off and run to tell your Mom