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Liverpool Western Bulletin
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for 15 Mar 2011 – Members draw $10.00
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The Definitive Results as to the End of the World Debate
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Weekly dinner meeting - visitors and guests welcome
Liverpool Catholic Club - 6.00pm for 6.30pm start; Tuesdays
Cnr Hoxton Park & Joadja Roads, Prestons, NSW
Our Satellite Club also meets each Tuesday at Bar Luck Restaurant;
Level 1, 94 John Street; Cabramatta, NSW
Meeting Venues & Times will vary and should be confirmed on events Calendar
TONIGHT’S MEETING – Tues 15 March 2011 – Mercure Tour – LCC, 6 pm sharp in Mercure Foyer
A conducted tour of the Mercure Hotel has been organised with Hotel Manager Chris Donavan, who will then join our meeting in the Garden Room Restaurant and provide us with a talk on management of the Hotel. President Peter is encouraging partners and friends to attend to welcome a new member with an induction into the club on that night. Numbers are required to be given to the Liverpool Catholic Club by John Gibbs on Monday morning. John can be contacted on 0425 340 190.
A board meeting will then follow the normal meeting.
CLUB REVIEW
Members Draw Won – It was with a heavy heart and a tear in either eye when member Bob Cook sadly realised he had won the members draw at our meeting on 1 March. He reluctantly fleeced the club of its cash, saying he didn’t want to set any precedents whereby other members would feel guilty to collect when they won the draw. The reluctant member then departed, his arms fully laden with a meat tray and a great wad of cash in his pocket. The look of empathy was then evident on member’s faces as they realised Bob had departed with the $120.00 and without a chance to buy them a beer.
Change of Date for Miller College Achievement Awards – Our Awards Presentation Night has been changed to Tues Night 31 May to make way for a presentation night at the college to be held on the original night intended. More details soon.
The Great Debate Result – The verdict is in and due to the importance of the finding and the impact it is destined to have on us all, a full page article has been included on same under our News and reports section. From here it will be posted as a separate article on our web site and published to twitter and face book in an effort to get the message out and allow others the opportunity to prepare themselves for what may come. Same will be aptly classified under our social functions category. A must read article if you consider survival important.
Congratulations to MC David Butterfield and the Rotary Club of Cabramatta for the professionalism in which they ran this debate. I also remove myself of any knowledge of strategies to be utilised to secure a result, with impeachment proceedings pending.
ANOUNCEMENTS
Rescue Base Open Day – Sunday 27 Mar 2011 – 10 am to 4 pm - The Westpac Life Saver Rescue Helicopter Open Day at Cape Banks, Botany Bay National Park to come and meet: Australian Defence Force • Australian Federal Police • Australian Lifeguard Service • Australian National Sport fishing Association • Botany Bay Water Police • Marine Rescue • National Parks and Wildlife • NSW Ambulance Service • NSW Fire Brigade • NSW Police • NSW Police Rescue and Bomb Unit • NSW Police Dog Unit • Police Air Wing • Rural Fire Service • State Emergency Service • Rural Fire Service Helicopter • Surf Life Saving NSW. Enjoy a Sausage Sizzle, Harley rides, Police Dogs, exiting demonstrations and more. PHN: 9311 3499. Parking Instructions: FREE shuttle bus service from La Perouse Public School, Yarra Rd, Phillip Bay, no parking at Base or National Park.
JOKES
The Rabbit
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out: to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.
The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that the man can read the label.
It says... (Are you ready for this?) "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair, adds permanent wave."
I don't make them up.... I just pass them along
GOD and Ideal Husbands....
While creating Husbands, God promised Women that good and ideal Husbands would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made the earth round.
Having a beer with the wife
A man is sitting in the pub with his wife and he says, "I love you."
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?"
He looks at her & replies, "It's me talking to the beer!"
Testing the limits of a Genies Powers
A woman rubbed a lamp and out popped a genie.
“Do I get three wishes?” she asked.
“Nope, I’m a one-wish genie. What will it be?”
“See this map? I want all these countries to stop fighting so we can have world peace.”
“They’ve been at war for hundreds of years. I’m not that good,” he said. “What else?”
“Well, I’d love a good man. One who’s considerate, loves kids, likes to cook and doesn’t watch sports all day.”
“OK,” the genie said with a sigh. “Let me see that map again.”
Women do as their told
A woman offered a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars. A man answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving. ''What's the gimmick?'' he inquired.
''No gimmick,'' the woman answered. ''My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary.''