The Liverpool Western Bulletin
For Tues 12 Apr 2011- Members’ Draw $40.00.
Our next issue will be for 19 Apr
Your’s in Fun, Fellowship and the opportunity of Service to the Community
TONIGHT’S MEETING –
Tues 12 Apr 2011 – Driver Awareness – Terry Delatorre, LCC, 6 for 6.30
Terry use to Investigate Crash Site fatalities. He used to take motorbike rides once off duty to escape the reality of his job. That was until about 21 years ago, when he got cleaned up himself. A miraculous tale of recovery makes it possible for Terry to deliver his message. Terry is a member of the Rotary Club of Liverpool Greenway
A Busy April followed by a Busy May
• Miller TAFE night will be mentioned on 19 April Partners night, with 3rd and 24 May the only opportunity to get numbers. (April 26 is a Public Holiday)
• May 17 is a cancelled meeting due to 2 partner nights in a row on 10 & 11 May, both of which serve as transferred meeting nights
The Red Shield Appeal is then to happen on 29 May for which volunteers need be sorted by 24 May
CLUB REVIEW
Blown Away on 29 March by the Police Rescue & Bomb Disposal Unit – Our Guest Speaker Senior Constable Roger Gough nearly left members blown away literally by passing around a number of IED’s. Members appreciated this presentation very much and a report on same has been included under our News and Reports section of this bulletin.
The Circus Extravaganza was held over the weekend of 2 – 5 Apr for which a report will follow in our Bulletin issue for 19 Apr.
The Bar Luck Restaurant night of 5 April – Congratulations to the Liverpool West Satellite Club and to the newly inducted members: Chuc Nguyen whose vocation is Information Technology, Dr Xuyen (Susan) Tran, a General Practitioner in Cabramatta and Tim Wong, a Bank Manager with St George. With now 11 members our Satellite Club appears set to grow from strength to strength and we naturally wish them well. The new Members may wish to advertise their business for free in the RDU Yellow pages and to find out more they may [Read the rest of this article...]
The Satellite Club put on a fantastic night as expected and we are all set to do battle with them again when they may next join us for the Combined Services Dinner on Wed 11 May. There is also the opportunity to join in for a Hit and Giggle Golf day fundraiser, with arrangements to be finalised, which Ted will report on in due course. We also heard from Members Joe Cauchi, Charles Hili and Ted Mlynarz on the very recent 2 week Goodwill trip to Vietnam from which the boys returned on 4 April. We will await a report from Ted before publishing, to allow justice to be done to same.
ANOUNCEMENTS
Miller College Achievement Awards – members Geoff Gibbs, David Goldston and Joe Cauchi have judged the overall winner and now have the unenviable task of keeping a secret as to the identity until Tuesday 31 April, when we host one of our most prestige’s nights of the year. To help up the anti on the prestige, The Board has agreed to invest $200.00 in Raffle Prizes. Member suggestions and/or assistance welcome. – John Gibbs
Change of Address
Rotary International, South Pacific and Philippines will occupy new premises from April 11, at;
Level 2 / 60 Phillip Street Parramatta, The phone numbers and postal address will remain the same.
REAL NEWS
11.00 AM Fatalities Verge on the Supernatural
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 AM Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 AM all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits
Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could use the vacuum cleaner.
$80,000.00 Seals a Delicacy at a Special Ceremony in their Honour
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00 At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
Animal Rights Champions to the Slaughter House
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
Terrorist Made Pay for Mail
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb; he opened it and was blown to bits.
JOKES
Drinking Makes You Smarter
As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:
'Well you see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo.
And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.'
Consummate Empathy
'I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.'
~Frank Sinatra